Make time for conversation after work. I know the feeling, you get home from 8 hours of work, an hour commute, and all you want to do is plop down on the couch and zone out. Whether your wife is a stay at home mom, or a 9 to 5 like you, she wants to talk to you! I’m not saying you have to break down in detail your entire day, but at least tell her a few things. She is your partner for life and she wants to feel included. My guess is you talked pretty thoroughly about something in your life with your co-worker today, so the least you can do is share a little with your other half.
Listen. Really, listen. On the same note as sharing, you need to listen equally. I’m not talking nodding your head while looking at the paper and a few uh-huhs. Truly listen to what your wife has to say. Although, the details of her day may not actually be all that interesting to you at that moment, listen for the love of your wife.
Compliment her. Some men have a more natural tendency to do this. If you are not one of them, I ask for you to step back and actually take a nice long look at your wife. What about her attracts you? It doesn’t necessarily have to be physical. It could be the amazing chicken she made the other night. Or, the way she rocks your new baby girl to sleep every night. Find things that your admire and TELL her! Even a quick slap on the butt in private can make your wife smile. Let her know you are thinking about her and how great she really is.
Help out around the house. This is a big one. I’m not saying you have to take over all the duties and work from dusk to dawn, but at the least pick up after yourself. After dinner, bring your dish to the kitchen, rinse it off, and pop it in the dishwasher. The dishwasher is full of clean dishes, you say? Unload it! Your favorite pair of pants has been dirty for a few days and you notice the laundry is piling up? Put a load in! If things around the house are not perfect, it is probably for a reason. Your wife may have a lot on her plate at the time, or maybe she is simply feeling unappreciated. Take some time to look around you and ask your wife if she wants any help.
Put the toilet seat down. You may laugh, but this one is true. Even if your wife has never mentioned anything to you about it, and you always leave it up, and “she doesn’t mind!” Wake up call, she does. Just put it down, it’s not that hard.
Don’t yell at her for no reason. I get it, everyone has a bad day. Also, it’s proven that people tend to take things out on the ones they love the most. But whatever you do, don’t, without reason, yell at your wife. Women think very complexly and if you yell and we don’t know why it could damage us for a long time. If you have something upsetting you, outside of your relationship, talk to us, go to the gym, take a walk, or call a friend to vent.
Do something unexpected. Buy her a card and write a few sweet things in it. Deliver flowers to her work. Text her just to say you’re thinking over her. Plan a surprise weekend getaway. Do anything unexpected every once in a while. You don’t have to do this once a week, or even once a month. But, it is important to do something to show your wife your think about her when she is not around. Doing these things on totally non traditional times is the best, not just her birthday or Valentine’s Day.
When you fight, fight fair. All couples fight. In fact, it is perfectly healthy–if the fighting is productive. Don’t say hurtful things that you will regret. I know, easier said than done. But remember, this is someone you married and love. Never, ever mentioned the D-word in the heat of the fight. Take 20 minutes, or however long it takes to cool off, and make things right.
Don’t be so serious. If you are like most, you love a sense of humor. Sometimes, the initial attraction and laughter of a relationship can get drowned in bills, children, and work. Shake off the stressers of life and flirt with your wife like you used to. Reminisce about funny stores, tell jokes, play a silly board game. Loosen up and remember when you first fell in love.